Tuesday, May 12, 2009


Please, God, help me to let go of this situation with my husband. Please help me to remember that it is out of my control and no amount of crying, stalking, cajoling, or other manipulations will change his course of action. Help me to trust that he will change when he is ready to change.

God, please grant me some release from this anxiety. My stomach is churning, and I am having trouble concentrating on the work I need to do for myself. Please fill me with the energy and motivation to take care of myself.

Please help me with wisdom and discernment in this situation. Please help me to understand, to the extent that you would have me understand, what is going on with my husband right now. Please help me to see when it is time to get out of this marriage, and help me to exit with some kindness and grace. And if it is not your will for me to leave, please help me to see my husband through your eyes, God. Help me to see that he is a very sick man, and help me to respond to his sickness from a place of love. Gird me for the battle, God, and keep me strong. Please grant me the power to carry out your will and to discern what it is in the muck and mire of this situation.

Please, God, help my husband. I am not sure what kind of help he needs, but you are. Please protect him from the darkness that is encircling him right now, and help him to wake up to his true calling. He is a wonderful man underneath all of th effects of his sickness, and please, God, help him to see himself as I see him. Help him to recognize the sweetness and strength that is in side, and help him to utilize it to get himself out of the corner he's gotten backed into.

It is my greatest desire that my marriage work. More than anything in the world, I want my husband and I to grow together along spiritual lines, to get old together and to raise a family together. I want to sit by his bedside when he is an old man, and I want many, many more years of falling asleep in his arms. If it is your will, God, that he be removed from my life, please help me to release him. Help me to have faith in your plan for me, and please help my heart to heal.

Thank you, God, for giving me people to support me while I'm hurting and place I can go to feel safe. Thank you.