New Game.

A few weeks ago when I was trying to soothe an episode of crazy, I bought myself some alphabet magnets for the refrigerator. I spelled out our names, the dogs' names, the cats' names, and when Vowels came over, I put her name up, too. Sometimes, I could write things like, "lick" or "eat" or "pie" or "meal" to pass along subliminal messages for things I want. The letters are bright, and they make the fridge look exciting, and I like stuff, so they pleased me.

It didn't take long, however, before my very bad doggy started stealing them from the fridge and chewing them up. At first, I was heartbroken by her habit. I liked my letters, and she was messing them up, and that's bad. But I've started revering her alphabetic selections as a kind of prophecy. Whatever letter she brings to me, you see, bears a message that only I can interpret.

A few days ago, for instance, she brought me an "S" for serenity, and it meant it was time for us to go on our walk. She often brings a "W," and it means we need to wrestle. Two days ago, she came to me with a very seductive "Y" in her mouth, which meant that mommy and daddy needed some private time without the doggies. See how only I can make sense of her messages?

Sometimes, my husband thinks he can interpret the messages, but he's always wrong. When she brought me a G into the bed, he thought it meant that he should get a backrub. Clearly, the dog thought that he should be rubbing my back, and she wanted me to remember to ask him. It's so obvious.