Murderer!

I absolutely adore the way my dreams have become so obvious and transparent since we've been mucking through The Junky Crisis 2007. Everything is very clear and symbolic, and I remember them all so well. I never had such clear dreams...

So last night, I dreamed that G was a murderer. We would drive around to various places, with me lecturing in the passenger seat, "You really shouldn't murder people, you know. You could get in a lot of trouble!"

And he'd whine, "Why do you always try to control me? You won't even ever let me be myself."

And then we'd stop somewhere, and he'd be stabbing someone repeatedly, and I'd say, "Stop murdering that person!"

And he'd respond, "I'm not murdering her! Why do you always accuse me of murdering people!"

Stab. Stab. Stab.

At one point in the dream, he'd murdered his father, sliced him up into horrible, gory, teeny pieces, and left his body in the river by the park (What river? What park? In the dream, it was "the river by the park." There is no river or park in our lives, so it's strange how definitive these locations were.). And then, we were at church, and I was trying to hide all the things with the blood on them, and I was afraid because now there were things with blood on them with my fingerprints.

I knew that it had gotten quite bad if he was murdering his own father and I was hiding knives. However, I was not leaving, and I was just as excruciatingly, ridiculously enamored with my murdering-ass husband as I am with him and all his bizarre, baroque oddities in real life.

So we're at church, and it's time to stand up and sing, and his mother comes in, quite drunk. She's stumbling and falling, and everyone is looking at her. It's exceedingly bright in the church. Her cell phone rings, and she answers it. This is really, really inappropriate. She tells us that she is drunk because his father didn't come home the night before, and she doesn't know what to do with herself. She can't find him anywhere, and he won't call her.

Her cell phone rings again, and she smiles hugely, and she tells us that it's her husband, and she has to go pick him up from the park by the river. Instead of being afraid that he isn't really dead or that he has re-emerged in a zombie state, we are certain that she is lying and she's really going to get drugs. I see the murderous rage come over my husband, and I know that his mother is not long for this world...

I tell him that I'm going to have to leave him if he doesn't stop with the murders, and he simply smiles and says, "Oh really?"

I realize that I am likely to be murdered soon myself, and so I shut up.